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How (not) to Have a Clean House

Here is a foolproof recipe for a Very Unclean House:

  1. Have all children in the house get sick with the flu for a week.
  2. As soon as the fevers are gone, leave town for a week and
  3. leave behind the husband to do some home improvement projects.
  4. Return from trip with a basketful of dirty laundry.
  5. Right away, go have a good time with college friends you haven’t seen in years.
  6. As soon as the kids go to bed spend time talking to the husband without being constantly interrupted by little voices.
  7. Begin your homeschool year.
  8. Schedule your doctor’s visit and dentist’s visit in the same week.
  9. Have the kids begin a new instrument and double up on their swimming lessons.
  10. Make three batches of jam.
  11. Wash and iron the quilting fabric instead of the clothes.
  12. Go to every store within 10 miles that might have curtains for the bathroom and drag the kids with you.
  13. Go to Costco and buy a 10 pound bag of onions.  Then leave them in a paper bag until they start melting.
  14. Allow the kids to play with some new toys on the living room floor.
  15. Take an afternoon nap every other day.
  16. Schedule meetings and activities for 3 out of 5 weeknights.
  17. Schedule at least one activity or appointment a day.
  18. Make a dinner that requires you to brown chicken and spatter grease everywhere.
  19. Spend hours wondering if your kids are going to turn out to be productive members of society or not (don’t judge me.  you know you do it too).
  20. Write blog posts whenever the inspiration strikes, even if it is 4 o’clock in the morning!

Mix all these things together in the space of a few weeks and you’ll have a Really Unclean House too!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake a cake (oh, did I mention I also agreed to make a cake to serve, like 40 people, for a church lunch?)

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